Special Issue by the Littlest Watleys, September 2010
The Search Engine of Tomorrow!
Humor Gazette

Martians Attack Marine Biologist

Professor Pierre Aronnax, 40, today was attacked by a Martian. Witnesses described it as "huge and metallic, with long, flexible, glittering tentacles, (one of which was gripping a young pine tree) swinging and rattling about its strange body. It picked the road as it went striding along, and the brazen hood that surmounted it moved to and fro with the inevitable suggestion of looking about. Behind the main body was a huge mass of white metal like a fisherman's basket, and puffs of green smoke squirted from the joints of the limbs as the monster swept by me. And in an instant it was gone."

Aronnax, famous for his adventures 20,000 leagues under the sea, documented by Jules Verne, reportedly ran upstairs when the tripod released a capsule of Black Smoke. The Martian, famous for its documentation by H.G. Wells, then used its Heat Ray to burn through the walls. Aronnax apparently jumped down when the floor was burnt through, and shattered the tripod's hood with a 2 foot tall, 55-pound cross-sectioned model of an Anemone. The Martian fell out of the broken tripod and tried to strangle Aronnax, but Earth's increased gravity pinned it to the burnt floor.

The Martian was brought to the country's top scientists for further study. When asked about whether he would continue his studies, Aronnax replied that he would continue to verify Verne's work, while simultaneously ridiculing Well's for his unrealistic tales, Professor Aronnax replied that he would, despite the attacks by an invisible man, a time traveler, and Doctor Moreau in the past month.


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