Volume 7, Issue 1, February 3, 2009

Humor Outlets Desperately Recruiting Blacks The ascension of the nation's first African-American president has caused a monumental crisis for satirists and humor publications, which are scrambling to recruit black writers and comedians. "It wasn't until inauguration day that it hit me," said Tod Freemont, editor of the Harvard Lampoon. "We're a bunch of white guys used to making impertinent and untoward comments about the people in power. That worked out fine when all the elected leaders were white too. But now we're up a creek. I never saw this coming." PAGE ONE

Innocent Bears Face Terrible Assault By Dangerous Salmon "Bears are naturally clean animals," explained Torsk, "and frequently come to bathe in these freshwater streams. However, this stubbornly hygienic trait has proven to be a huge risk factor, as the bears are then placed directly in the path of this marauding stream of fish." PAGE TWO

Anheuser-Busch, Miller Move to Five-Packs "It's not about some number on a balance sheet," insisted Busch as he casually shoved the earning reports under his chair. "Unless that number is a federal bailout total, in which case the number matters very much." PAGE THREE

From the Desk of Ezekiel Franklin Watley, Esq., Founder and Editor Vice Verse-a It came to me, there while I ate My breakfast, sitting at the table late That poetry would be my task For this week's essay: so, to ask My muse for some inspired verse Instead of usual prose. Editorial Special Feature: Watley Speaks! In a Stunning First for our humble webamagraph pages, you can now Hear my voice in this Ground-Breaking interview at the Fancy Dress Albert Club show on Leisure Talk Radio. It is a good Half-Hour of Rambling Anecdotes about my Family History, Ephram's misadventures, and More. Get the Watley Interview! (January 15, 2009) - Hear ye, hear ye! The top Ten Satire and Humor News stories of the Year have been selected by HumorFeed! Click here for the Full Story! (May 13, 2008) - Zounds! It is our Fifth Anniversary Issue. We are most Grateful to you, our esteemed Readers, for your kind Support and egregiously excessive Flattery these past five years. Of course, one can never have Enough egregiously excessive flattery, so do keep those letters to the Editor coming! (May 30, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition Results are now available! Click here to learn who took the Prize, and read some of the least objectionable Entries! (May 15, 2007) - The Fourth Annual First Limerick Competition is now officially underway! Click here for details on how to get your own Poetry published in The Watley Review, and win a Whisky Mug besides! (April 3, 2007) - Imitation is the Best Form of Flattery, and one supposes that Re-Mixing must fall in this category. Estimable British purveyor of astounding Truths Doc Sleaze has turned one of our recent Articles into a thoroughly Modern Hip-Hop Remix. Who would have Thought that our dusty brand of Journalism should lend itself so well to Modern Culture?