Des Moines Cancels Light Rail Project Because There's Nowhere to Go
A major light rail project in Des Moines, Iowa was defeated in the General Assembly yesterday
when lawmakers reached a consensus that there really isn't anywhere to go.
"Despite a broad coalition of support, we've really been struggling with the parameters of the
proposed system," said Tom Arbuckle, a member of the Iowa General Assembly. "Essentially, people
assumed that having a light rail system would enhance our transportation infrastructure. But when
someone actually stood up in the Assembly chambers and asked "Why?" it became clear that no one had
a good answer."
With a greater metropolitan population of over half a million, Des Moines is by far the largest
urban center in Iowa. It boasts an international airport, a zoo, and several very shiny
skyscrapers, which are polished twice weekly by the economic development agency.
"Mass transportation is a sign of a successful city," said Mayor Frank Cownie. "I admit we have
sort of a chicken-and-egg problem here; we don't have a strong commuter base because we don't have a
system for them to commute with, and we don't have a system for them to commute with because we
don't have a strong commuter base. But, I would like to point out, we do have a brand-new monkey at
the zoo. That's worth traveling for. He's a hoot."
Iowa is a predominantly agricultural state, and Des Moines is home to a great deal of
agribusiness. In addition, the city is home to over fifty major insurance companies.
"I have to admit," confessed Cowrie, "that we thought bringing in the insurance companies would
kind of kick-start things. Everyone knows that insurance companies are vibrant intellectual and
cultural hotbeds and have a significant economic impact on the area. You know, the way computer
companies do it for places like Silicon Valley. Perhaps we need more insurance companies to
get things going."
Over $150 million earmarked for the light rail project have been put back into the public
coffers, and lawmakers are struggling to come up with a use for the money. Some suggest that
despite the total lack of interest in the project, Des Moines might as well proceed with the light
rail system anyway, for lack of anything better to do.
"Off the record, we had the same problem pushing through the Iowa Events Center," admitted
Yolanda Fremont, economic development coordinator for Des Moines, in a confidential email. "But we
didn't give up, we ignored the nay-sayers. And $200 million later, we managed to build a venue
which, this month alone, hosted both the Iowa Deer Classic and a prayer breakfast. I think
we've proven our point."
While it appears unlikely that the light rail system will move forward at this point, Des Moines
officials are apparently hoping that the media attention will prove a windfall for the city and
stimulate economic development.
"There's no such thing as bad publicity, right?" said Cowrie.