Physics Teacher Earns Praise, Criticism for "Applied" Exams
A New York high school physics teacher was awarded the prestigious Golden Apple award on Thursday
despite a hailstorm of complaints from current and former students accusing him of rampantly unfair
and arbitrary classroom techniques.
"John Gaston's twenty years of dedicated service to his students have helped produce some of the
finest minds of our time," said New York State Education Commissioner Richard Mills. "He's a credit
to the school system and a reminder of how important innovative approaches can be in the education
of our students."
"He's a damn menace who should be locked up!" countered a protester at the ceremony, who was
escorted from the room by security.
At issue is Gaston's method of "applied" examinations, in which he tests his students'
understanding of physical laws by inviting them to participate, or not, in a series of potentially
dangerous experiments.
"I am simply interested in seeing how well my students have absorbed the concepts of the laws of
thermodynamics, potential versus kinetic energy, and so forth," said Gaston at the press conference.
"Regurgitating parts of a textbook on an exam is fine, but demonstrating applied knowledge is
another matter entirely."
A typical Gaston exam question involves asking students to choose between catching a small metal
box filled with 20 pounds of lead dropped from a height of 1 foot, or the same metal box stuffed
with 20 pounds of feathers dropped from the roof of an 8-story building. Each year, about five
students try to catch the feather-filled box and end up in the emergency room with concussions.
"I still think it was a trick," glowered Marvin Stoddmeyer, a student who chose the feathers and
failed the final exam, breaking his collarbone in the process. "Gaston said something about
momentum and kinetic versus potential energy or something during the year - yadda yadda yadda. But
at no point did he specifically warn us not to try to catch a 20 pound object dropped from an
8-story building. That's deception, man."
In addition, each year Gaston offers his students the chance to skip the rest of the year and
earn an A in the course if they can produce a perpetual motion machine by the last day of
school.
"I always do that the day after we cover the first law of thermodynamics," said Gaston. "Inevitably, a third of my class takes me up on the offer. They then complain about failing, but
frankly I think I'm doing them a favor and short-circuiting a long and painful process for them,
because do you think they would pass if they stuck around?"
However, after accepting the award, Gaston did say he was willing to cut his students a deal and
add 10 points to everyone's grade before applying a curve to the final grades.
"Now that's fair," said Brandon Marlowe, one of Gaston's students. "At least he's being honest
with us."