New Jersey Governor Sends Multi-decade PR Campaign Down the Drain
New Jersey residents are collectively smacking their foreheads in the realization that a
long-running, multi-billion dollar effort to improve the state's name has effectively been
scuttled.
The long-term strategic plan, nicknamed "New Jersey: We're Not So Bad," was initiated in 1984
following the humiliating rejection of Hoboken, New Jersey as a potential Olympic site. Not only did
perennial rival Los Angeles win the games instead, but Hoboken made Olympic history by ranking below
three nations which were actually at war at the time as a potential Olympic venue.
"We knew we had an image problem, but the IOC's rejection letter clinched it," said New Jersey
Senate Majority Leader Bernard Kenny. "Not only did they give us a score of negative four, the
rejection letter actually included taunts in Icelandic, Dutch, and Tagalog. That's when we knew
serious action was called for, and pronto."
A multi-decade strategy was conceived which would gradually temper New Jersey's poor reputation
in the eyes of the nation. The plan included multiple public relations campaigns and a significant
number of payouts to the entertainment industry.
"The payouts, while expensive, were the most innovative and effective features of that plan,"
said Variety editor Peter Bart. "For almost twenty years, they have helped erase New Jersey
jokes from late-night monologues and sitcoms. In doing so, they've significantly reduced New
Jersey's profile as a state to mock. But now, of course, they're back to square one."
Last week New Jersey Governor James McGreevey announced he is gay, had an extramarital affair
with a man, and will resign on November 15. The governor said news of the affair made him and the
governor's office vulnerable to threats.
"Now, McGreevey was in a difficult situation," said Bart, "and you could argue he did the best
thing he could under the circumstances. Moreover, there's no question but that the fact that the
affair was homosexual in nature has invoked a double standard. Many politicians have been accused
of or confessed to adultery, and few have been compelled to leave office as a result. Logically,
there is no reason why the governor's affair should be considered any worse. But tell that to Dave
Letterman."
In fact, journalists and pundits looking to expand upon the story have quickly raised questions
about McGreevey's fundraising as well as other alleged backroom politics, painting New Jersey once
again as a state beset with a corrupt, bloated political machine. Nationwide, public opinion of New
Jersey plummeted forty points overnight, undoing much of the past twenty years' gains.
"Well, if they'd devoted some time to actually fixing some of New Jersey's problems, such as
excessive property taxes, pollution, and general lack of fiscal responsibility, maybe they wouldn't
be in such a mess," opined Russell Hagerty, political science professor at Rutgers University.
State officials, however, were already planning a comeback strategy.
"We're working on a new long-range PR strategy nicknamed "New Jersey: At Least We're Not
Mississippi," said Senator Kenny. "We'll get those Olympics yet. But you'll need to allow us a few
decades first."